Dear Kofo- part 3

It was just before christmas, we were not talking again over nothing, we just didn’t find the words, i summoned the courage *notice me again* to come to you and ask if like normal you were ready for church and u looked me in the eye and said to me you were not going to my church, it suddenly became my church, you were going to your birth church *did you just realise that*i left you, the tears rolled down as i went to church alone that day, i couldn’t believe what you just did,i had said so many things that day about you but somehow i still didn’t lose hope, you were still my friend.


It was christmas eve, your sister was around,our friends came over, that weekend. What was the point staying with you for christmas when we were not talking, so i planned to go to my friend’s place for the period, when i got back from church that day, we were all in the kitchen and our friends couldn’t take it anymore, with all the fraustration in them , they asked us what was going on, we hesistated at first but we soon began to throw out our minds and it was very emotional, you said your piece, you mentioned that i was shuting you out, you still said maybe it was because we were doing different things and we didn’t have anything in common, you said i was going for midweek services and i wasn’t pulling you along, i was doing things and i wasn’t letting you in, you went on and on and on,you said you were also going through things and you needed some time alone, i asked you why you were not telling me what was wrong, you said because it was the first time this particular thing was happening and that was the only way you could deal with it, your sister also backed you up on that “fair enuff”... i saw where you were coming from, i said my piece to you too and we ended it all by crying, our friends told us we were misunderstanding each other, and we made up, but i still went away for a little space..I was so happy, i sent you loads of text messages, telling you how much i appreciated you, and how i almost lost you, and you reciprocated and i was so happy, couldn’t wait to get back and catch up on all we missed out on, as far as i was concerned, i got my best friend back.
So i got back from christmas and decided to spend the new year with you...we went to church, we cooked, had so much fun. With our usual trying to get back to things...not for long, we were back to it again, strangers in the same house, we didnt speak, not even to whatever was ours, well i did speak to him when he came over, but you never spoke to papi when he came, i mean you guys always teased, but you became cold towards him and that wasn’t fair...we stopped using each others stuff, we stopped eating each others food, we stopped doing things together, we became strangers, we could sit in the sitting room for good hours without saying a word, we were on and off when we felt like it.


I couldn’t take any of this anymore and i decided i wanted to move to the city, moreover i didn’t have a job, my school was in the city, i had to commute which was rather expensive, and i was losing you so there was no point staying there. I spoke to you about it, and said maybe if i moved to the city, there would be more opportunities to get a job, and we could find someone to take my room if i had to move earlier....you were very unsupportive, for the very first time, you just didn’t want to understand.
These were your words “i don’t see any reason why you want to move really, it’s not like when you move to the city you would find any better job like that like that, because you are going to school and most of all these companies want full time, so i dunno, but its up to you sha, your words were loose, and you left it off by saying ehn if you find someone to rent your room that’s fine, shebi its just to sleep and wake up with the person, we don’t necessarily have to speak so yeah..i paused for a minute, can’t even remember what i said back to you but i know i was sweating as i went back into my room....i was weak!
I started making plans and decided that i really had to move, couldn’t take anymore of all this, you were hurting me and i was sad, after a while i wrote you *me again* a two fullscap sheet of letter, blabbing about us and how hurt i was, you replied, a bit harsh, but it was ok. You came to jump on me on my bed that night, we were like little children, we were almost crying, i mean it was funny because we were living in the same house, playing songs on our laptops, hearing each others voices, but we were not speaking to each other...remember if i was in the kitchen ild be humming, or the bathroom ild be singing and if it were you, uld do the same..it was funny, the house was dead quiet, we never had visitors like we usually did, they were all running away, because of what was going on...but that night it felt good to settle and put things behind us...did i say behind us, maybe i was dreaming......


To be continued!