Dear Kofo- Part 2

....So we moved into this apartment, we were so excited, we went shopping for our house, it was fantastic, i mean i took the bigger room and you accepted the smaller room but you didn’t mind you were happy and tolerant as usual, it wasn’t a big deal after all my room was your room and yours was mine. We lived happily together, with you doing most of the cooking all the time and oh my was your food fantastic, you knew how to make all this special delicacies, “mede mede” ild call it, and our friends always came over to grub, people loved coming around because we were homely, we accommodated everybody, we took our friends in when they didn’t have anywhere to stay, we were always willing even though we had our resentments about some of them but it didn’t matter, our boyfriends came over once in a while, slept over often and we understood that when they came over we had to be alone with them of which we carried on the next day teasing each other or whoever it was that had theirs come over the night before about noises we heard over the night..lol

So it was all gravy,our regular life, living in one peace, had a few state of madness sometimes but we always shoved it by just talking over it the next minute, your sister did come over sometimes either for the weekends or something and i sometimes felt a bit isolated but it was ok because like i said she was family.I had finished from school because i came a bit earlier to uni than you did, so you had a couple of semesters left, i graduated, and had this little party thing where you were forced to make a speech and you said very pleasing things about me on that day, you guys helped a lot in the cleaning and everything, and i was thankful..After graduation i got this job somewhere in town, while i was contemplating whether or not to move to the city, since that was where my college was and it was a lot to commute, but because of the job i decided to stay back with you, you still had to attend lectures everyday at uni, yes i agree we were doing different things but it was still cool, we sent each other text messages if we had not seen each other the whole day or sent mesages when we found something funny around us and a whole lot of stuff to say in the evening...
The madness fully started, i was getting pressure at work concerning my in competencies, i was making a whole lot of mistakes at work because i wasn’t trained on the grounds that i knew what to do, but it was just a small company that couldn’t be bothered about that, i felt humiliated sometimes at work, that i often got home late, so tired and i kept quiet most of the time, you never came to ask me what was wrong, so it became a usual thing for me to be quiet, i mean we spoke but not much at all, each time i got back from work, i either went straight to my room or i just said hey to you and that was it....but you didnt come to ask, i needed you to do so......it went on for days, we started becoming distant, but at least we still went out together sometimes, had fun when we were ok and just still as close regardless of the quiet moments we needed to ourselves....

Remember i heard somethings about him and i came to tell you eventhough kofo u never told me about what u heard about papi and sometimes ild hear stuff and find out you knew about it too but you just never said anything to me, you were holding back on a lot that he told you, but as girls i told you all the jist i heard from papi even the ones he asked me not to say...... so many people were saying stuff about you outside, about how you were taking a lot of rubbish from him and i came to tell you, i mean my relationship was not perfect as well but i felt the need to tell you what i heard, they were not nice things....i didn’t expect you to break up with him, but i expected you to react and make changes, you were too soft when it came to him...and then again i always told you breaking up wasn’t the answer but you had to let him give you that respect if he truly loved you he won’t run away....don’t know what happened but maybe you did tell him i told you stuff or maybe he soon started poisoning your mind against me, not sure about that so i cannot hold that against you after all you were in love...but i could sense you did...and the feeling was building, maybe i was selfish...
So little things became an issue, you all of a sudden did things unconsciously without letting me know as usual or i also didn’t feel the need to let you know when i did some things, we totally started cutting each other out gradually..This minute no words to say, the next minute all happy and gloomy but the next next minute, it was same old story, and it was getting worse. Remember that day when i was in my room upstairs and you were downstairs i sent you a text to ask what was going on and to find out why things were going the way they did and all you said was “These past few days we haven’t had anything in common, that maybe time would tell and blablabla”...it hurt me so much, i was confused, i couldn’t sleep that night because i never knew you could say such to me...so we didn’t speak for days, but i still summoned the courage to come and speak with you about it all and we were cool again...but each time we sat together we didnt have anything to say to each other,we were always quiet.

So i was told to go away from work, my services were no longer needed, i took a bus back home that day and i was crying, i was hurt, you were not home, but you were in school, you began to get closer to the other girls, i was a bit jealous to be honest but u had too, because like you said we weren’t doing the same things anymore...anyways i cried the whole day, i was fraustrated, i felt so low, because i had lost something good, you came home and i told you what happened, you were very supportive, you encouraged me to move on, you even ordered chinese for us that night,lol. And made me feel much better..i soon was back at looking for jobs again, surfing, attending interviews..there was this particular day i had gone for an interview and my experience there wasn’t so pleasing, i felt humiliated again, it was the wrong job, it wasn’t what i wanted to start with and i ended up being told with a couple of orthers we were unsuccesful....i called your phone when i was almost home, i heard people screaming in the background, i was trying to tell you what had gone wrong but you were not listening, and i was upset...i got into the house, went straight to my room and i was crying, the whole thing about job, you was upseting me..You still didn’t come upstairs, i sent you a text saying how i felt and what you did that upset me, after a while you soon came to me with food and your sister too, consoling me and i just got over it all, it passed...

So things were happening fast. remember when our friends had come over one time and they noticed we weren’t speaking, the environment was cold, you were upstairs with your sister in your room, i was downstairs, you were always shutting out, and became more quiet, they were very inquisitive as to what had gone wrong btw us because the atmosphere was different, no one wanted to come visit anymore, because it was not right...you laughed so much with your sister i could hear you from my room, but you just couldn’t laugh with me anymore, we started becoming strangers gradually, you did stuffs for people you didn’t do for me anymore,and it was getting scary...i mean you never came to speak to me about anything, you kept it all..
I sent you couple of messages sometimes, but your replies were harsh, i was breaking down, you were hurting me, i had nowhere to turn to except God, i started reading my bible, going for midweek services because i was hurting, i mean i was fasting too partly because i was seeking God, but did you also notice i was broke, well you were too because our kitchen was dry!! And that was the only option i had, you were confusing me and most times you acted like you didn’t care. every time your sister came from school to chill, i always felt depressed, because i could sense isolation and it was eating me up, you were doing things for people and you were leaving me behind, you were always running off to see the girls, forgetting that i needed you...obviously i didn’t feel the need to tell you anything anymore, except when we were so happy which was seasonal....you began to change in my eyes, you were not the gentle, soft kofo i knew anymore, u were someone else and it was getting scary....

To be continued!!